I am posting the following with the understanding that this is the type of topic that is inherently fraught with emotion and prone to misunderstanding. Because of all that, it is difficult to really tackle in a blog post. With that said...
There is a wonderful discussion going on over on this blog (which is a public, “professional” blog so I feel fine linking to it). This is a subject about which I feel very passionately, so I have read each and every one of the 500+ comments on this post. For the most part, the discussion has been very respectful and most of the posters on both sides have been thoughtful and articulate (minus a few quackadoodles and those who equate a differing opinion with a vicious attack).
Here was my main contribution to the conversation (I think I was commenter #412):
“You know how it is really frustrating when people base their opinion of an entire group of people on what a few people in that group say/think? That is how I feel right now with people rejecting feminism because of the relatively few feminists who hate men, or called SAHMs parasites, or consider men unnecessary.Just because a feminist or some feminists felt or feel that way or said that offensive thing does not mean that that is what feminism is about and it does not reduce "feminism" to an ugly thing.
Feminism is wanting equal rights for women. I am really baffled as to why any person would want to reject such a beautiful and important thing.
I feel like many of the commenters are truly missing the point on what feminism actually is. I also think it's scary when people get complacent and feel the fight is over just because now women make ‘pretty much’ what men make. Complacency is dangerous. Our foremothers didn't fight and go through everything they went through (including torture... literal, physical torture) just for us to get complacent.
One last thought to the people who don't like the term "feminism" because they prefer "humanism." I agree with you in theory, but there is an excellent reason it's called feminism; men haven't had to fight this fight (at least not for themselves - God bless the ones who fought for women). Their rights have been automatic and assumed. THAT is why it's called feminism and I embrace the term, even if I don't agree with every single thing that every single feminist has ever said.”
Originally, I had this paragraph in there as well:
“I am grateful that so many commenters before me have been so eloquent and well-spoken because honestly, the only coherent thought I had immediately upon reading this post was, ‘Are you freaking kidding me?’”
I took this out because it was kind of rude and I didn’t want my point to be lost in emotion, but this is my blog now and I can write whatever I want and be emotional if I feel like it so… Are you freaking kidding me?
There was so much more that I would have said were it not for the fact that so many fabulous commenters already beat me to it. And it’s not that I disagree with ALL of what the original poster was saying. Of course men and women aren’t the same. I, too, celebrate those differences. But for heaven’s sake, so do the grand majority of feminists! The feminist movement is about striving toward equal rights and opportunities and choices and respect and VALUE. And to quote one of the other commenters who was quoting someone else, I look forward to the day when this is no longer an issue. But unfortunately, we aren’t there yet, and the mere fact that there is so much confusion regarding the movement in the first place is a testament to that. To reduce and then dismiss feminism because of the terrible misconception that it is all about wanting to turn women into men or trying to eradicate any and all differences between the sexes is, in my opinion, so completely absurd and unfounded it just makes me want to cry. Or burn my bra.
(Just kidding – I love my bra and would never do anything to hurt it; it’s the only reason I look like I have boobs. And I quite like pretending I have boobs. Not quite as much as I would like to actually HAVE boobs, but I digress…)
Tuesday, March 09, 2010
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9 comments:
Well, as a mom to 4 girls you know where I stand on the subject.
My ultra-padded bra is my best friend. I could never give her up!!
love the bra/boobs comments --- totally my sentiments. no bra - no boobs.
I've read through a lot of he comments, not all of them, but I read all of yours. You are so passionate about this. It's great that cjane opened up such a forum, even if she didn't mean to.
You know what comment bothered me the most? The comment where a woman asked cjane about her picture and asked about her bottle feeding as opposed to breast feeding.
I thought that brought up the exact thing that so much of this conversation was about -- women picking or judging other women.
I still remember a post you did WAAAAYYYY back when when you talked about moms stopping the whole working mom vs. SAHM thing. We all need to be nicer to each other.
I LOVE your comments on CJane's blog post about humanist vs. feminist:
"...... I agree that people - including men - have had to protect their rights from those in power. Certainly, I am a humanist as well. But my point - and I think this is a big difference in the context of this conversation - is that men have not had to fight for rights that they are denied BECAUSE they are men."
I mentioned CJane's post to my sisters the other night, and my devout LDS mother became outraged that I was supporting the feminist position. It was impossible to convince her that feminism was not about the garbage she's been fed; women who want to make men into women, weaken men, hate their differences, etc. She also claimed that the feminist movement was all about trying to get equal pay for jobs that men did better than women.
I'm still stunned over the conversation, and how angry she became.
Megan, will you email me?
amylloyd123 at gmail
I've been following the discussion too...I actually saw your comment on Courtney's blog and my immediate response was "Amen!" Couldn't agree with you more.
Amy, I read the cjane blog post several days ago and just like you, my opinion was the same as yours...."Are you freaking kidding me?”
Also loved the bra bit at the end....I, however, loved my little boobs and look forward to the day I get them back.
i agree that the definition of the word is very simple and as such should make for an easy answer to the question. however, we can't ignore the fact that the idea of feminism has taken on a broader definition culturally and therefore makes an easy answer nearly impossible.
Yes, I think that's a fair point and identifying oneself as a feminist or not probably comes down to one's own definition of the word more than anything else. Personally, I think everyone should just use MY definition. ;)
Boy, I can't wait to see you. I do not know anything about this working/sahm thing. I am right in the boat with you on the feminist thing, and if you REALLY want to get your ire up, I'll tell you about my brother-in-law's (not one anyone here knows) take on the month of February. But back to the mom stuff - huh? Can you soapbox that for me so I can get in the game? And so you know, I'm not going to read it on this lady's blog, NOT because of any stance or whatev, just cuz I only read my friends' and family's blogs b/c I would otherwise have no time for anything else. Um, that is all.
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